from now on my penis is your penis
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
