Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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