I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
