I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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