Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
