oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize