White coat. Heels.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
