I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
