somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
