How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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