Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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