He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
