We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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