is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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