i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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