The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
