My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
