everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have aggressive nipples.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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