no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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