The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
