I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
