she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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