i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?