it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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