do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i came on her dog
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
