believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
