I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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