Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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