Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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