so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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