He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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