I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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