I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
