I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
