paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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