I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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