Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Holy sore nipples Batman
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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