How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
