Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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