it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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