You just made me feel so damn special
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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