I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
