The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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