She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
