you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
