No stitches, just platelets and will power
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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