I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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