Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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