We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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