Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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