words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
