Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
