So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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