Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
