Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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