Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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