how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.