i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.