i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
where am i from again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.