she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
