Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
