Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
