Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so that wasnt chicken after all
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
