they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize