I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
